Thursday 23 August 2012

Legitimate Rape?!

Ummmmmmmmm, I guess that's kinda like . . . .
  • Gentle Genocide: you know, before they actually killed the females, they were LEGITIMATELY raped-- so, where's the issue?
  • A Happy Holocaust: well, we were having some overpopulation issues, so we thought this might be a good way to help the earth. We just picked those who (fill in blank and choose as many as apply) look like ________/ come from _______/ believe in _______-- you  know, those who are responsible for (fill in a societal problem that this group did not cause) __________, and viola, we've reduced our nation's carbon footprint!
  • Kinder, Gentler Slavery: I mean, we let them eat the pig entrails after we were done with the parts a human might actually WANT to eat. Oh, and the reason we sold their children to another "manager" was so that the little ones could gain valuable work experience at an early age, without being distracted by their parents. BTW, that's the same reason we'd punish them if we foound them reading-- simply instilling that good ole' work ethic. We just want to maximize their chances of succeeding in life (as the next generation of slaves). And if you're reading, how on earth are you going to labor at the same time?!
  • A Perfectly Understandable Honour Killing (Notice the spelling for my peeps in the UK, b/c this is one where the US actually has one on you.): Sh*#! I mean who would want their daughter to be free to decide how to live her life, or be "Western," leading her to do things like walk alongside a male, or drive, or  . . . . breathe?!
This all begs the question as to what constitutes an Illigitimate Rape??

Fine print- this list not necessarily ranked in order of severity. Translation-- for those who subscribe to the More Persecuted than Thou mindset (don't worry loyal readers, I'll post this one soon and even link it for you), don't get your panties in a wad. Oh wait, the first three are, mas o menos, the same thing; but don't tell that to the various sufferers or their descendants. We need at least one thing to continually disagree over, right?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeeeaaah those Reps know all about women , so they must know how to fix the economy too. Mitt the liftime priest can do it! Wisdom from middle east age Mormon cult can save US!

Rep's reasoning go back to 12th-century when philosopher William of Conches (Mormon favorite), “prostitutes who have sexual relations for money alone, and who take no pleasure during the sex act, do not conceive.” They would, however, get pregnant from sex with a lover.

Nearly a 1000 years generation gap problem with the Reps.